I have this overwhelming fear that I'm not in control.

I am in a strange mood today.
Somewhere between apathy and depression.
One of those moods where it seems that nothing will improve. Like you're trapped in a cycle of melancholy.
I need certain people to break this cycle, but right now I don't have them with me.
I'm back in Cheltenham on thursday, a change of scenery might make a change of mood. We shall see.

I'm going to use music to change my mood for the better this evening.

"These days are long when no-one looks my way"
Blackhole - Tides.

Perfect lyrics, this song can really speak to you if you let it in.



Enjoy.x

sleep is elusive...

Well its quarter to 4 in the morning and I'm not tired.

I don't have lectures tomorrow and I think that my body knows this and refuses to let me sleep so I can get the most out of the hours I am awake!

This evening has been a quiet one. While most people have been out partying I have been relaxing and abstaining from drinking as my quest for sobriety continues. Whether this will be in vain come the Easter holidays is a question I ask myself daily.....

To fill the void of drunken oblivion most people seem to throw themselves into on a Thursday evening, I have been filling my time with new music.

By listening to bands that are new to me, I can expand my horizons and enrich my knowledge for the job I want in the future.

This evening I have indulged in the new Dillinger Escape Plan album (see previous blog), Crowbar - Crowbar, Give Up The Ghost - We're Down Til We're Underground and The Hope Conspiracy - Death Knows Your Name.

I may or may not review these albums... only time will tell.

Right now I'm just hoping to get some sleep!

I shall leave you with a sample of my evenings music, enjoy.

I've Been Gone A Long Time.

Well its been a while since I lasted posted on here!
I have spent a weekend with my girlfriend and I must say I had a fantastic time. Just spending some quality time together was brilliant as we live so far apart for long periods of the year. Its tough but I know we will be fine :)

In the musical part of my life quite a lot has been going on as well.

In an effort to do more and become more proactive I have picked up the guitar again. Playing the guitar used to be a big part of my life, having been in bands with some of my best friends I have great memories attached to the instrument. It all came from rediscovering the Nirvana Unplugged In New York album. I completely forgot how much I love this album as Kurt Cobain was surely at the height of his godly powers. Every song he sings sounds beautiful and soulful, his death in 1994 robbed the musical world of a true talent.

"Where Did You Sleep Last Night" never fails to move me when I listen to it. Cobains cracked voice just spills emotion and anyone who listens to it becomes attached to this mans internal plight. When he howls the last verse it is impossible to not be moved. Try it, i dare you.

On a new music note my mind was blown this week by the new Dillinger Escape Plan album "Option Paralysis." I came across Dillinger after listening to their previous album "Ire Works" and this album has just made me more interested in them. A mixture of perplexing rhythms which will really test a listener, but interestingly enough I think it is the slower, piano based songs that are the most powerful. This album is a strong contender for album of the year in my humble opinion.

On the completely opposite end of the musical spectrum to Dillinger, I saw the new Lady Gaga video for her single Telephone this week. An epic 9 minutes of advertising through music (check the Virgin Mobile, Diet Coke and Chanel to name a few) but nevertheless a fantastic and stylish video from the undisputed new Queen of Pop, Madonna has had her day!

People hate on Lady Gaga but I can not help but admire her for her perseverance to be different and to astound people. Respect.

Anyways, music discussions over.

peace.x

Good moods and good times.

Ahhhh the sun is finally shining in Stoke.
It may still be a touch on the cold side here but at least it isn't overcast anymore!

This post is being written as I am in a great mood today.
After a fantastic weekend visiting friends in Manchester I feel on top of the world.
We didn't really do much except party and watch some rubbish films on Friday (Hot Chick anyone) but i had a brilliant time!

The weekend coming up i get to see my girlfriend and i can't wait. Being 200 miles away from her is hard but we make it work, and it means when we get to see each other the time is even more precious!

I think I may even start one of my assignments my mood is that good!
Its strange what good weather and good times do to me!
peace.x

where does journalism end and bullshit begin?

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2875287/Gorilla-seen-in-Nasa-snap-from-Mars.html

Yes. That is a story from The Sun Online all about the possible sighting of a GORILLA upon Mars.

I for one will admit that my grasp of science to do with the Red Planet isn't the most advanced. My knowledge as far as i know that the presence of water on the surface of Mars is still being discussed.
Water is in discussion but according to The Sun, the presence of one of the most advanced primates on Earth is a "good spot" if this is true it would be the spot of the decade!

I think that Nigel Cooper needs to lay off whatever substances he is evidently taking if he believes that this is real.
Real good reporting by The Sun....

What comes next?
Yeti spotted shopping in London?
The Loch Ness Monster on the Moon?

Keep up the stellar tabloid reporting guys!

A blast from the past.

Don't you just love it when you stumble upon a song that you haven't heard in a while?

I was trawling through Youtube due to my disturbed sleep patterns when i rediscovered a classic song from my youth.

Roll Deep was the first time I listened to Grime music, a genre that along with Hardcore i try to keep up to date with as much as possible.

I believe Grime is similar to hardcore in the aspect that most acts aren't mainstream (yes there are some big stars such as Lethal Bizzle and Wiley) but the majority of people are still pretty underground (JME, Frisco etc)

Grime is music that I think is honest and isn't made to be filler for radio stations.

Anyhow, back to the old school memory i discovered... Roll Deep with The Avenue.

This isn't the video version as that misses out the last verse.

Enjoy.x

$£$£$£$£$

Ahhhhhh why is it that I want so many things yet can't afford any of them?!

Clothes and visiting friend seem to be top of the agenda right now but can i afford them? no I can't.

On the upside the summer holiday is coming together which I'm stoked about.

A week or two away in the sun with my girlfriend... sounds perfect :)

anyone want to donate me some money so I can afford everything above now?

Mo Money Mo Problems.... no Biggie, No Money, Mo Problems!